This happen to you often?

A, B, and C all have friendships with each other.
A and B have a falling out.
C has three options:

1. C takes a side, and loses one friendship.


2. C doesn't take a side, and loses both friendships.


3. C doesn't take a side, and manages to keep both friendships.

I endeavor to follow option 3. Mostly it's successful. Ideally, it's successful AND both A and B each know that I am still friends with the other. It actually makes me uncomfortable if they don't know. I still won't talk much about either in conversation with the other, but I prefer they both know that they are both still in my life.

What makes me most uncomfortable is if B says, "Anyone who is still friends with A cannot be my friend."

I suppose I'm talking about this now because the third instance in two weeks of this type of thing whapped me in the face tonight.

And I was talking yesterday about a situation in which I was A and I lost a friendship with C because C never told me she was going to try for Option 3. C may have taken option 1 (which is basically what I assumed), or might have been trying for 3 and I didn't know. Since B and C are still friends, as far as I know, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she didn't go with Option 2.

But, at any rate, here's a blanket statement to all the "A"s and "B"s in my life:

I will not judge A on the word of B, but on the actions of A toward me. If the actions of A make me uncomfortable, I will take it up with A and not discuss it with B. Please don't ask me to take a side. That will drive me away quicker than anything the other could have said.