The other day a colleague asked me if I would tell her if she was "being too fussy."

And I, being me, said that I would -- if she was being fussy enough for me to notice, or if her fussiness was not lining up with the things I'm fussy about.

And she found this remarkable.  (I can tell, because she remarked on it.)

If anything about this at all is remarkable, I think it's not my decision making process.  It may be, if anything, the fact that I'm transparent about that decision making process.  I think everyone is less likely to point out in criticism something they actually find laudable.  I don't think everyone is willing to admit how very subjective our decisions are.  We want to be objective and logical because that's how we've learned to persuade people to our point of view (never mind how many opinions are formed based on subjective emotional reactions).

I think when you are honest with yourself about which opinions are formed in the gut, that is the first step to reshaping those opinions with your brain.