Different environment makes for different responses
I went out to the movies with Son2 today, and then took him to T-Mobile so he could buy himself a new cell phone. Then I went to the fabric store and got material to make a tablecloth for a 3x12 surface. By the time I got home, the house was completely empty. This almost never happens. Three members of the household are sleeping elsewhere tonight, and the fourth is working a 12 hour graveyard shift.
I don't like the house this empty.
I remember when I used to treasure an empty house. I started musing about what was so different between then and now.
Then, I was still rebelling against the utter lack of alone-time and, frankly, privacy that characterized my cohabitation with KOP. He was Always Fucking There. And beyond the wall between me and my emotions was a seething morass of resentment, anger, and fear that I wasn't even aware of until about three years after we divorced. I was so disconnected I couldn't even tell I was nauseous.
Now, I adore my roommates. I miss them when they're gone. I don't like the house so quiet.
This environment is very different from fifteen years ago, and right this minute, I'm lonely instead of relieved.
I don't like the house this empty.
I remember when I used to treasure an empty house. I started musing about what was so different between then and now.
Then, I was still rebelling against the utter lack of alone-time and, frankly, privacy that characterized my cohabitation with KOP. He was Always Fucking There. And beyond the wall between me and my emotions was a seething morass of resentment, anger, and fear that I wasn't even aware of until about three years after we divorced. I was so disconnected I couldn't even tell I was nauseous.
Now, I adore my roommates. I miss them when they're gone. I don't like the house so quiet.
This environment is very different from fifteen years ago, and right this minute, I'm lonely instead of relieved.