• Feb. 28th, 2015 at 10:54 AM
jic: Daniel Jackson (SG1) firing weapon, caption "skill to do comes of doing" (Default)
I had a conversation the other night that caught my attention by highlighting how different people understand the same words. We were talking about the statement, "I love you," and how casually or seriously it is used in a relationship, and how one partner may use it before the other is prepared to make the same declaration.

I contrasted that I love easily, but my trust is more difficult to earn, and that makes it easier for me to navigate a situation where someone may feel more intensely than I. People say "I love you" all the time and mean a variety of things, but very rarely does one gaze soulfully into another's eyes and say solemnly, "Honey, I really trust you."

My conversation partner immediately leaped to discuss trust in terms of a lack of fear of sexual or emotional infidelity. This came as almost a shock to me, and to be honest I don't recall exactly what was said to me next, because I didn't mean trust in those terms at all.

When I trust, I believe I am safe from verbal abuse.
When I trust, I believe I am safe from intimidation.
When I trust, I believe I am safe from manipulation.
When I trust, I believe I am safe from physical harm.

When I trust, I feel supported, whether that is in the form of cheering my endeavors or respecting my views in the different areas of social justice.
When I trust, I am confident that I and my feelings and my potential reactions are considered - and if they do not inform a decision that is made, they at least inform the manner in which I am told.

And as much I want to trust, I also seek to be trustworthy. Love can survive unrequited; trust cannot.

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