jic: Daniel Jackson (SG1) firing weapon, caption "skill to do comes of doing" (Default)
I went out to the movies with Son2 today, and then took him to T-Mobile so he could buy himself a new cell phone.  Then I went to the fabric store and got material to make a tablecloth for a 3x12 surface.  By the time I got home, the house was completely empty.  This almost never happens.  Three members of the household are sleeping elsewhere tonight, and the fourth is working a 12 hour graveyard shift.

I don't like the house this empty.

I remember when I used to treasure an empty house.  I started musing about what was so different between then and now.

Then, I was still rebelling against the utter lack of alone-time and, frankly, privacy that characterized my cohabitation with KOP.  He was Always Fucking There.  And beyond the wall between me and my emotions was a seething morass of resentment, anger, and fear that I wasn't even aware of until about three years after we divorced.  I was so disconnected I couldn't even tell I was nauseous.

Now, I adore my roommates.  I miss them when they're gone.  I don't like the house so quiet.

This environment is very different from fifteen years ago, and right this minute, I'm lonely instead of relieved.
Tags: None

Comment Form

Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


If you are unable to use this captcha for any reason, please contact us by email at support@dreamwidth.org

Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of people who comment anonymously.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.